I had hoped to have a wonderful summary of all the revelations from the Hearings to share with you today. I even had a metaphor to build it around. On Saturday evening my refrigerator quit working. But, the freezer kept chugging along. That’s what I think is happening to the republican party. The hard core, those frozen in their beliefs, won’t be swayed. But the rest of them are warming up to the idea that there’s very likely something rotten at the heart of the their party. With the Hearings, we are watching a new reality — Republicans Gone Rancid1.
Anyhow, in my effort to save the food, I had to undertake an archaeological dig into my basement to recover three miniature refrigerators that had been buried years ago. My normal helpers were MIA (one didn’t answer their phone in a timely fashion and the other was down from their second vaccine booster), so I was my own Sherpa. The little fridges I have aren’t quite so little and progress was measured in “schlep, gasp for breath, rest, rinse, repeat” cycles. It was time consuming and I didn’t have the last fridge in place until Sunday late afternoon. After that, aside from a phone call with my brother, I sacked out until Colbert and Meyers, and then immediately went nose down into the gazpacho again until now (approximately 6AM).
So, in summary, lot’s of good stuff happened yesterday, not the least of which was the revelation of the Big Lie enabling the Big Ripoff.
I even found an excerpt from the republican Bible that predicts the event.
From the Book of Genesis meets Revelations, Chapter 5 — King Donald version
1. And Abraham lived six and fifty years and begat the republican party and died
2. And the republican party bespat crime and corruption and lingers on.
3. And Russia bespat Putin, who purchased the republican party and lingers on.
4. And Putin bespat his puppet tfg, who bespat the Big Lie, which bespat the Big Ripoff which lingers on.
1In Rafael Cruz’s podcast last week, he had this to say: “You know, Michael, it reminds me of, do you remember those videos that would come out every spring break, Girls Gone Wild and it would have lots of college women in bikinis or not bikinis?” And then followed up with this: “It reminds me of much the same thing. This is Liberals Gone Wild. This is the crazy left that — this is AOC and Elizabeth Warren, thank God, not in bikinis, um, but embracing their socialist nuttiness. The internet was not kind.
Slava Ukraini!
Remember the Children
Stephen was on point last night.
Seth also had a nice review of day two of the hearings
News links would have gone here if I had woken up a couple of hours ago. Today are on your own.
On the Lighter Side
An excerpt from The Ballad of Mike Pence, coming soon to a longer functional iPod near you:
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mother comes to me speaking about how Clarence’s wife thinks I should be hung and Donnie’s wife wants to know why there’s only one fly on my head.
And in my hour of darkness Donnie stands in front of me
Spouting words of gibberish
Go ahead and pee.
Go ahead and pee.
Go ahead and pee.
Go ahead and pee.
Go ahead and pee.
Whisper words of gibberish
Go ahead and pee.
When all the bursting-bladdered people
Living in the world agree, there will be a puddle
Go ahead and pee.
Possession is nine-tenths of the reason republicans claim for their close relationship with Satan.
The cocaine and group sex parties Madison Cawthorn accused his republican fellow weasels of organizing are probably just the traditional republican party activity of screwing the country every which way they can.
Messaging Memes
Closing Notes
In the traditional run up to the New Year’s Eve show, here’s a version of Man Smart, Woman Smarter from New Year’s Eve Eve 1983.