Street theater scripts are suggestions at best, providing a framework for participants to put on a show to get their points across. Ideally, it should be played without people reading from scripts as the above photo of this early effort shows.
Enjoy because this is--an open thread! So write whatever you want. What are you planning for dinner? How’s the weather?
Deputy Chief of Staff Bridget Anne Kelly
Poor Sandy Victim
Occupy Sandy (holding a pile of shoes which they drop after each question)
Mainstream media reporters
Christie supporters (carrying “Christie in 2016” signs which they lower one by one as he answers questions from the press.)
Shoe holder (Holds a basket of shoes which they drop one by one as questions are
asked. Finale, could just dump the rest of the shoes)
(Should be portable and simple, like two people holding a board for a dais.)
Buckets of cash—labeled Sandy Storm Funds and Christie in 2016
Basket of shoes
Springsteen props (guitar, music)
Surrounded by aides who pet and fawn upon him, King Christie enters a news conference wearing a Burger King crown and a long kingly robe. Under the robe, he wears a Bruce Springsteen t-shirt.
As he comes to the dais, he directs his aides (by saying “You know what to do”) to distribute Monopoly money to Greedy Contractors while taking money away from Rutgers and Hoboken Mayor. During the actual transaction, King Christie covers his eyes or looks up whistling. They get the money out of a bucket labeled “Federal Funds for Sandy Relief”. The money they take goes into a bucket labeled “Christie in 2016”.
When Christie comes to the podium, he addresses the press:
King Christie: I want the citizens of New Jersey to know that I am IN CHARGE.
Reporter (bowing): King Christie, does that mean that you were in charge of Lt Governor when she ordered the GWB lanes closed for four days?
King Christie: NO! I’m in charge of New Jersey, not my staff. (turning to Lt Gov he says, “You’re fired!"
Lt Gov runs off crying: “I’m pleading the fifth! I’m pleading the fifth!”
Reporter (bowing): King Christie, did you appoint Weinstein to the Port Authority to be your personal watchdog there?
Weinstein is seen edging his way out of the crowd, then breaking into a dead run.
King Christie: “Weinstein! You can’t run away from me!”
Reporter (bowing): King Christie, is it true that your reelection campaign headquarters records have been subpoenaed?
Bruce Springsteen comes through the crowd singing his parody song. Christie’s face first shows awe and love then horror.
Chris Christie cries out: NONONONONO claps his hands over his ears and runs away.